This came out pretty close to what you had imagined in the script. You still need to fix that line at the end though. It's not "Your life is on a line", it's "Your life is on the line." I would suggest doing two titles, one for each line of your message instead of having the whole thing appear at the same time. It would match your VO better if they were separated. Your titles are just blah and bland. It's a basic font in a small size and it really doesn't stand out at all.
It does take a long time for her to get to the water and while I do appreciate the sequence of her getting there, I'm not sure you've shown me she's in much danger here. The water doesn't look that rough and there's no GoPro footage of her in the water and maybe having a hard time. I know it's a little late to try and do that but if you have any chance to get that done on Monday, I would try. I just don't believe that she's in a lot of danger here, based on how this was shot. Your audio levels need some adjustment as well. Your music is a little loud and your VO is way too loud. This is good but not great. You need to work more at it so don't give up!
I was hoping you would have made that change to the titles at the end. To add on what I had above, shots were pretty good but they were shaky and sometimes out of focus. The close up of the sign should have been centered and tight. Music matched. Overall a pretty good job. 3.4 points
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.