The opening sound bite doesn't work. That first sound bite needs to pull us in and grab us. Using this particular sentence, "Then doing the recitals where they seem to feel like movie stars," doesn't work because it starts with "then" which means there was something before that. That something before that is needed to explain what this sentence means. If your dad had said, "KUGA make these kids feel like rock stars," then that would work. The sentence alone stands by itself. I like that you tried it though, we just have to choose a better sentence that doesn't leave us scratching our heads. See if you can find another sound bite to use.
Right off the bat your audio levels are off. You can tell that in some of the interviews done at KUGA, the mic doesn't seem to be plugged in. The audio sounds like it's coming from the camera and not a lavalier mic that they are wearing. There is too much background noise for that to be the lav mic. The interview with the student was great. The audio there was just about perfect. Listen and compare the two and you'll see what I mean. The camera in Lyla's interview slowly moves down too. Try not to cut down or put a fade on an interview. Her last words fade off and that shouldn't happen. You need to go back and get all audio levels the same in FCP.
In the interview with Aiden, it would have been nice to see b-roll of her dancing at KUGA. She could have been a good central character since she has such a cool story about why this works for her. You are definitely missing matching b-roll of her.
Most of your b-roll is good. A few look crooked and move a little but most of them are good. I'd like to see more sequences used. Since this is a story about dance and also music, maybe it would have been good to choose one song to play in the background. Some clips have no audio in them which is weird. You see kids dancing but hear no music. Having one song in the back would fix this.
Overall it's a good story that could be improved with more work. I would like you both to go back and work on this some more. Good to great! 2.8 points
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