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Mr. M
10/19/2016 09:33:01 pm
Your narration in your VOs are probably the strongest part of this story. They are clear, evenly paced, and you sound very into your subject. Your interviews however, need a lot of work. You have jump cuts in just about every interview and that is a huge no-no when doing stories like this. This is not a vlog where that sort of editing technique is ok. Hiki No will never accept a story with jump cuts like this. That needs to be improved right away in your next story. Your audio is very poor in your interviews as well. There is a lot of wind noise and you've done something to Mrs. Nii's interview further down in the story that makes it sound like she's a machine. Sound is just as important, if not more important, than your video. You really have to capture better sound. I think you also need to flip your first two interviews so that Mr. Nakamura goes first. He talks about the common core first and then goes into the arts whereas Mrs. Terry talks just about the arts. If we heard his interview first and then hers, it would be a much better transition. Right now it's jarring to go from the arts, to common core which eventually gets back to the arts. You also don't tell me enough about the program itself. What is it called? When did it start? When does it take place? What do they do? I'm left trying to piece together all of these parts and you as the narrator have to lead me on this journey if your interviews don't fully tell me that story. Two of her soundbites are really similar, just worded a little differently. In your part about how she got help from other teachers and parents, your next interview is with Mia who is a former student. You really needed a parent or teacher there saying how they support the program. B-roll is solid but there are no sequences. We have a lot to work on for the second quarter but there are things here that are done well too. Let's work on these problem areas for the next project. 3 points. Leave a Reply. |
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